Journal…single.married.engaged.it’s complicated.gay.straight.bisexual.confused.

We are not defined by our relationship status 
With that statement said I will progress onto writing a whole post on the whole relationship thing…or rather my take on the whole thing. 
Maybe I should start saying where and who it is coming from. disclaimer time!
I am currently single. I have had 1 serious relationship. A few almost/not really/ unsure ‘things’. Have been single for 2 almost 3 years. 
Those 2/3 years have been up and down in this area of life. 
From being ultra confident in being the independent women I know Beyonce would be proud of, to the hiding in my room a la Bella Swan times. 
I do not have this sorted in my head, I do not and most likely will never understand everything about  relationships. 
But I do know a few things about what pressures surround us in terms of relationships, I know the struggles and endless conversations that I have had with many a friend and I see the way people spend their whole lives searching for that all important person/ or worrying about enjoying being single.

(Added into all this I should probably add that my experience- all of these external processed thoughts are coming from a Christian perspective and my belief that God is awesome and loves us 
I believe relationships- romantic or otherwise – were created by God to be pure and precious and glorious. I also believe that God created each of us in his wonderful design and that each of us as an individual is precious to him in that way.

He loves us as we are. Just as us.

I believe that one person can live life without getting married, without having that romantic relationship and still be completely fulfilled in God.
God said man should not be alone- but you can be single and not alone.

Community. Friendships. Family

All these things are important, they can fulfil someone, they can be the relationships you are meant to have for a lifetime. ‘Not alone’ means in be in community.

There is a common misconception (yes mostly in the church!) that we should all be married and settling down by 25…if not well before. We have this idea that once someone hits 19/20 all they are looking for is a husband/wife.

Not Fair. Not True.

Yes many want to get married and many desire that life. I know that I do. But I also know that the pressure to be has made me reject being single as an awful thing.

It is not. It is a gift. I have more time to spend with God. I have the freedom to completely drop everything and move country if God asks me to. I can do things I love without worrying about someone else’s schedule. I can eat all the ice-cream without having to share 🙂 and decorate my room with pink things.

But ultimately I know that for now, for this season it is best for me to be single.
and that is good. God says so. Maybe that will change but I have no idea where life will go, or what will happen.

It is equally good to be married and be single, it is equal in Gods eyes. 

Either way if you are focusing your eyes on God and devoting everything to him then your heart will be fulfilled in him.

So lets just ask one another what exciting things are happening in our lives, rather than focusing on everyone’s relationship status. Lets accept everyone for the amazing person they were created to be and not judge them on their relationship status.

Married people are not boring- trust me I know a few of them.
 Single people are not depressed and lonely- trust me I am one.
 People with a boyfriend/ girlfriend are not necessarily going to walk down the aisle just because you think or say it is about time they did- give them a chance to figure it out!

Thus ends my little external process. What do you all think?

Rachel

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