Sitting in a room where you don’t understand a word that is being spoken: not because of the conversation topics, but because they aren’t speaking a language you know. You can tell by the rhythm of speech how the conversations are going, but you sits as a frustration at not contributing rises up within you.
I’ve been constantly aware of my own failings in learning languages this week, and of the fact that so many in this world have had to learnt my mother tongue because society dictates it so.
Its a pride thing, a thing of looking stupid and being laughed at: the fear of failing that holds me back from speaking out combinations of letters that I am unfamiliar with.
It’s a character thing, a thing in me that I do not like. It’s a pride thing and a fear thing, and a
slightly stubborn thing. It’s the reason I never learnt my times tables as a child, and refused to read properly before I was 8; a fear that it is to hard so just won’t try.
They were speaking Swedish, not the language I should be getting my head into, however beautiful it sounds. But they all speak fluent English as well, and most likely multiple other languages between them, because they value it, they see it is necessary in life, to communicate and be involved in the world.
So I am praying that my brain and patience will expand, my pride and fear will shrink and my mouth will get used to the unusual way the letters fit together.
Who knows, maybe one day I will start thinking in Romanian….. or at least be able to hold conversations.
I’m sorry for my pride and stubbornness everybody, I promise I’ll work on it.
And if you are around me feel free to challenge me in the learning thing: maybe you can help me with my pride and fear. It’s all about character right?