I tend to be able to communicate better in writing than verbally. My family have grown long used to the wordy cards and letters I send them, the ones full of my emotions and thoughts and hopes for and about them. If I need to process something, it comes quicker to me to put it into writing than to try and explain the jumble that is in my head.
And because I process better in writing, I think I get inspired more by words, and other people’s writing than I do by most things. I read someone else’s brain exposed on a page, or screen and suddenly my mind is overflowing with things that I need to get written down. Things I need to write and express. People really should be receiving long pages full of what I wish I had told them, or could tell them if I took the time to write the words down.
My heart explodes when I start to write and have not done so in a while, my fingers can never move quick enough.
I don’t really know why it is that I feel like this about writing, or why it is that once it is on paper my heart feels lighter, better, more healthy… but it is a fact.
I have so many things I want to write on here: most of which I am too scared to put down, or don’t know how much I should actually share on this small space on the internet.
But my head has been thinking recently around the whole idea of choice.
Choosing to say Yes to certain things, to say No to others. Choosing the good things, the scary but good things in life. Choosing constantly to say Yes to God, to His guidance and His way of life. I sometimes worry that I live a passive life, one where I expect things to happen to me, or for changes to occur simply by wishing them so. But I am realising slowly that I need to choose to not do this. To choose to be active, to change the things I can myself.
So maybe I need to start saying yes to writing, and processing, and sharing. Choosing to do that scary thing but good thing.